Trust You First

Build a better relationship with food, your body, and your health by learning to trust yourself

Dealing with Food Guilt and Body Shame During the Holidays

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One thing that I talk about a LOT in my work with clients is resilience. Resilience is the unsung hero when dealing with any challenge. It tells us that difficult things are inevitably going to occur in our lives, and gives us a pathway to deal with them in a way that allows us to not only make peace with the challenge, but to actually come back stronger than before.  During the Holidays, we often deal with difficult/complicated feelings around food and our bodies, so I wanted to share a resilience process to help you navigate those feelings in a way that affirms food and body freedom, and trust in yourself.  The two most common things that disrupt our peaceful relationship to food and/or our bodies are 1- mindlessly eating past fullness to the point where we feel stuffed or unwell, and 2- seeing our body in pictures/unfamiliar mirror/through the lens of a family member and feeling shocked and upset about what we see. This can trigger intense feelings of guilt and shame and lead to a downward spiral of self-blame and control-seeking behaviors, which then get us running right back into Diet Culture’s toxic arms.  Instead, we can get curious about what is happening and use the experience to build the skills of resilience. Here’s the step-by-step: 
  1. Recognize that something has happened to trigger negative feelings.
  2. Breathe slowly and deeply as you identify the quality (sharp/fast/dull/spreading/etc), location (chest/stomach/head/etc) and intensity (low/moderate/strong/5-alarm) of the feeling.
    • Do not try to change the feeling, just lean in and get curious about the quality, location and intensity as you continue to breathe slowly and deeply.
  3. Once the intensity begins to lessen, and you begin to calm, ask yourself what you need in this moment, right now. What would best support you?
  4. Remind yourself that you don’t need to eat or look a certain way in order to be deserving of love, respect and care. 
  5. Connect to others on this path, like me! You can follow anti-dieters on podcasts, social media and through email newsletters, or bookmark a blogpost that you find helpful in reaffirming your journey toward authentic self-trust, self-care and self-respect. Reach for those resources whenever you need them. 
Repeat as many times as necessary. Each time, you build the skill to shorten the duration, lessen the intensity and recover stronger than before. You show yourself that you believe in your body and that it’s not your enemy, but rather, your greatest ally.    So, as we head straight into the Holiday Season, may you treat yourself with kindness, awareness and grace.